she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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