I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
