He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
