left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
