Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
