The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
