Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
