Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
