I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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