I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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