I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
