I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just tell him i said nine months
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
