I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
