Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
