thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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