Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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