haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
