week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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