sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
