it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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