im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
