Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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