I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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