At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
