I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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