it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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