i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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