Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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