We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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