Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
