You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
