Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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