i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
