Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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