We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
