my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
