they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
