On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
honey bunches of taint.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
