I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
