Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry takinAshit hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just found out I have a small penis.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?

Fav 23 891 5692
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth

Fav 9 1059 4045
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...

Fav 22 1507 4175
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

Fav 7 2765 920
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(330): View more from Ohio

I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

Fav 5 2612 1177
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(716): View more from New York

Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.

Fav 2 513 399
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(727): View more from Florida

No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."

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