I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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