please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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