god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
