I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
