OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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