I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize