One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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