For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
