apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
