its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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